But I'm a Cheerleader

Reviewed
by
Death Rock and Nice Alice


What a sweet movie!"I just think that was about the sweetest love story we've seen in a long time." 

Pretty good girl on girl action even with the lack 'a hooters."I'm a bit torn here. Hot lesbo action. Great lesbo action. But not a single naked hooter. No crotch shot. No raw taco munchin'. But I was still aroused."

"Aww, the way that Graham looked at Megan. That was just so cute. You could tell they really liked each other."

"I mean, the tongue action was pretty decent. And the way she rubbed her belly and was kissing the back side of her legs. Daisy was friggin' on tip toe, if'n ya get what I'm sayin."

"It's weird how the friends of this cheerleader get together to help her in a not so nice way. By thinking she's a lesbian, they feel they need to help her become normal. But by sending her to the place where she is supposed to become normal, she realizes who she really is and comes to terms with her sexuality."

"And scores some soggy Graham crack while boardin' there. It woulda been sweeter if that blue haired fine assed nose ringed chick threw down in that sweaty S'more."

"Deathy, you're missing the whole point of the movie by fixating on the idiotic male lesbian fantasy. This wasn't about sex. It was about sexuality but not sex. And love. And standing up for what is right and what is decent."

"Oh man, that was anything but decent. But did one 'a them queers direct this flick? Wasn't there a shower in that place? Or a hot tub? Four hot chicks sleeping in one room, all of them admittedly lesbo, and no tongue bathed beaver."

"There were five women sharing the room, Deathy."

"Yeah, I know Alice. But that mohawk wearing mustachio'd thing needed to meet my duke worse off than the bunch of roaming homos did. And speaking of, they coulda just dropped that whole bunch of butt munching rod rammers. That bunch 'a freaks almost spoiled the female fondling."

"I thought the gay men were adorable. And that RuPaul is just so sexy."

"Ugh. Whatever. If you like tall, dark and homo. This movie was pretty decent since it made my stick stiff. The whole school to change gays hetero was pretty lame though."

"Well, it's a pretty close minded mode of thinking, Deathy. Thinking that by using demeaning ideas and socially accepted mores, you can change men and women's sexual identity "

"No, the part I thought lame was they wanted to stop those women from goin' down on each other. I'm all for stopping them freako gay boys from back door penetrations."

"Death Rock, did you learn nothing from the movie? Gain no empathy? Not manage to see the other perspective?"

"Alice, I don't go to movies to learn shit. I go to be entertained. Shots of queers makin' out, homo garderners doing lewd and suggestive things to phallic objects near penis shaped trees, and men rubbing each other's nipples ain't my idea of a good time. On the other hand, I'm easily entertained by chicks doin' nasty, nasty things to other chicks. This movie was pretty equally balanced and I'm havin' a tough time deciding whether it rocked or bit Jovi's big haired ass."

"Well, I was very, very satisfied with this movie. It was fun and sweet and intelligent. And it had a lot of interesting things to say about how we struggle with identity while bound in a thoughtless system of traditional values and social taboos."

"If there had been any nude chicks, I'd recommend it pretty swiftly. But as there weren't, I'm having a hard time tellin' people it rocked."

"Well, did it make you laugh?"

"Oh yeah! I just about spit Jujubes outta my nose when that Graham chick threw a rock at that queer. And that sign Megan was holding. 'Silly Faggots. Dicks are for chicks.' Hee-haw! That was pretty good. I'll have to use that one on that fat ass Grunion Guy sometime."

"At least you found some of it amusing. You know, Deathy, I get pretty tired of having your reviews always come down to two things: nudity and violence. Can you only recommend movies that show guts and blood and boobs and butt?"

"What else is there, babe?"

"Well, there is emotional attachment. Realistic character interaction that motivates you to care about the outcome of the movie. Visceral feelings of anger or lust, happiness or loss, hatred and love. An intelligent script that makes you think in a different way or see from a new perspective."

"I felt lust. Woo boy, did I! So much lust that this movie may not rock like the first of twelve opening acts before Slayer rocks the house but it would get me in the mood for the show."

I wonder if Carlotta has seen this movie..."And, like I said, this is just about the sweetest love story I've ever seen. Plus, it did make me kind of curious about girl on girl action."

Aw yeah! Let's go find some chicks, Alice! "..."

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