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#14: "Make Denim, Not War!" We were throwing a party one weekend when we got on the phone with one of our old roommates. He lived down the street and was throwing a party of his own. One of his guests was a guy we all knew who was always in trouble with the law for violent offenses: assaults, gun charges, etc. Somehow, Hugo and this guy got on the phone together, and Hugo jokingly started talking smack. This violent acquaintance of ours, while also joking, told Hugo he was going to come down the street and kick his ass. Then he hung up the phone. This caused Hugo to turn a very ghastly pale and begin to panic. He instantly began to think of ways to make things "right" with this guy who he thought was going to kill him. His first idea was to run out and buy the guy a card and some nice flowers! Seriously. Next, after we got Hugo back on the phone with him again, Hugo offered to buy the guy . . . jeans! Hugo promised the guy a pair of pants if he didn't come down the street to tear him limb from limb. Of course, Hugo then found out it was all a joke, and for the next six months all Hugo's friends would tell him their jeans sizes as soon as they saw him--"Better make it a 36-30, or I'm going to kick your ass!"
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