20, 6:45 AM PST
Lesbians Beat Out Bacon in "Things
to Add to Something to Make It Better" Poll
LINCOLN, Neb. -- For the first time in 49 years, bacon
came up short in the annual "Things to Add to Something
to Make it Better" poll, losing the top slot to lesbians.
my god, oh my god," cried Katherine Axe, executive director
of National Lesbian Foundation, as she accepted the honor "for
all lesbians and our many fans."
The nationwide poll, conducted
by the Gallup Organization, asked 25,000 participants, "What
thing would you add to make something better?"
Lesbians captured 59 percent
of the vote, with bacon grabbing only 34 percent. Last year's
polling had bacon at 51 percent versus lesbian's 49.
Jim Barian, spokesman of the
American Bacon Society, took his constituents' defeat in stride.
"Well, I thought we had
an outside chance of making it 49 in a row, what with all this
Atkins diet stuff becoming popular and all," Barian said.
"But let's give it up for
lesbians -- they've been making inroads in recent years, and
to tell the truth, I wouldn't mind adding a lesbian to my love
Bacon dominated the poll for
decades as it found new ways to reinvent itself, carrying out
an unprecedented transformation from basic breakfast side dish
to a featured ingredient in sandwiches, hamburgers and steaks.
But despite a last-minute campaign
to push bacon-apple pie as the next "big thing," media
pundits had been predicting a thorough trouncing by lesbians
"Bacon didn't stand a chance,"
said media guru Steven Horley. "Ellen's new show alone gave
lesbians a forum from which they could peddle their message.
Bacon's got to get out of the kitchen if it ever hopes to compete
Mayonnaise came in a distant
third, capturing only seven percent of the vote.
-- Doom Bunny
contributed to this report.
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