15, 3:12 PM PST
Bush to Ban Books About Bush, Book Claims
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Already reeling from the onslaught
of "tell all" books that consistently reveal the White
House's penchant for duplicity, deceit and deception, the entry
of yet another volume -- entitled Burning Bush: God's Enduring
Flame? -- has brought out yet another round of denouncements
and denials from Bush officials.
a lie, it's a lie, it's a lie," Press Secretary Scott McClellan
announced today. "They're all lies -- what's wrong with
you people? Don't you know what a lie is?"
The New News obtained an advance copy of the book,
which is set to be released nationwide next week.
In an early chapter, the book's
author -- former Undersecretary to the Undersecretary of Transportation
for Air Security Milton G. Wahlegh -- claims to have sat in on
several key meetings in which Karl Rove repeatedly eluded to
his desire to prevent the publication of all books with "strong
negative messaging" about George W. Bush.
"We'll call it 'national
security' or something," Rove reportedly said, using finger
quotes, when challenged on such a move. "I'll think of something.
I am, after all, the political genius of my generation. Gimme
"While your spin skills
are undoubted, I still think the courts wouldn't accept the trampling
of the First Amendment --" a staff member allegedly started
"We got 'em to select an
unelected president, didn't we?!" interrupted Rove, before
dismissing the staffer as a "complete and total puss."
Later in the book, Wahlegh reports
of meetings with Rove and representatives of Clear Channel to
organize burnings of anti-Bush books, including Paul Krugman's
The Great Unraveling and Al Franken's Lies & the
Lying Liars Who Tell Them.
They'll have a lot of kindling
-- since the day George W. Bush was installed in the Oval Office
by the Supreme Court, a seemingly endless supply of books about
the would-be president have been published.
But the tone in such Bush books
has changed in the last year, moving away from "real but
funny" texts -- such as Molly Ivin's Bushwhacked -- and
into the realm of blistering first-person accounts by Republicans
who have witnessed the president and his cronies acting against
the national interest.
White House immediately pounced
on Wahlegh and Burning Bush, denouncing the former-official-turned-author
as a "out of the loop and uninformed" during his tenure
at the Pentagon.
"Much like former Treasury
Secretary Paul O'Neal, former terrorist czar Richard Clarke,
and journalist Bob Woodward -- who is the only reporter provided
with big-time access to the president and his staff, and who
wrote the amazing book Bush at War before writing that
lying screed Plan of Attack -- the author of Burning
Bush was ostracized long before by the staff, was not invited
to attend important meetings and was generally considered to
ask too many questions," McClellan claimed.
"Does it matter that the
authors you've just indicated were 'out of the loop' are all
Republicans?" asked Stella Scheeno of the Washington Times.
"They ain't good
Republicans," McClellan answered. "A good Republican
doesn't ask too many questions."
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