Monday, January 5, 1:45 PM PST

Polls Up as Bush Starts 23rd Leg of Vacation

by Brent the Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire

DISNEYLAND, Calif. -- George W. Bush pushed forward with his so-called "leisure-time agenda" today for a record-setting fourth month, his 23rd stop finding him in Disneyland again.

Bush -- already the record-holder among U.S. presidents for the most vacation hours logged -- is attempting to boost his sagging ratings in the polls, betting that the "Average American" will embrace Bush's unwillingness to actually work.

The tactic worked before, when his inability to run a business, together with his experience as a part-time governor, captured the hearts and minds of 49 percent of the voting public during the presidential election of 2000.

And now, Bush's bet has apparently paid off as it becomes clear that he is nothing more than a figurehead, to the relief of the American public.

"I like that he ain't too proud to take a day off once in awhile and go to Disneyland, or Magic Mountain, or Yellowstone Park, or Cheyenne," said Tomas Guitierez of Albuquerque, NM.

"Plus it's nice to know his thumb ain't on the button, know what I mean?" Guitierez added.

"Them's some fun family rides that any uh-Murican can enjoy," Bush said after his ride on Space Mountain. "Well worth the wait in line."

While Bush didn't actually wait in line -- the park was closed to the general public during the visit -- his statement was met with wild applause.

Bush's visit to Disneyland follows his appearance last week at the Jimi Hendrix Museum in Seattle, where he was heard yelling "Am I experienced?" to a crowd of onlookers.

"HELL NO!" the crowd yelled back at the only person with a criminal record to occupy the Oval Office.

"Sure as shootin' up!" Bush responded, rubbing his nose. "Now let's make sure that there Supreme -- SNIFF -- Court gimme four more years! SNIFF SNIFF! Anyone got any coke?"

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