POLITICS

Tuesday, July 13, 1:52 PM PST

Republicans Pull Switcharoo, Steal Democrats' Blue

by Brent the Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a startling move, Republicans are demanding that television and cable networks portray to their members and their states as the "blue party." Given that the owners of major media outlets generally back the GOP, they're likely to get their wish.

Party officials had long been embarrassed with the red designation, in large part because the color has long been associated with communism.

"We ain't red," declared Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Ill.). "It's all you dirty liberals who're red."

"We thought maybe we could just switch to different color, like white," Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said. "But we figured the French already had a claim on that one. So we figured we'd stick it the liberalists."

Democrats, however, had something to say about the proposed change in hues.

"Oh, they want us to be the reds now?" Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle (D-S.D.) "Well, I guess that's okay. I guess. Sigh..."

Americans across the country aren't taking the news as lightly as the parties, however, demonstrating a growing sense that politicians just aren't in touch with their constituents.

"I dun wanna be no blue," complained Cyrus McVeigh, chairman of the Republican Party in Perkins County, Nebraska and a distant cousin of the infamous Timothy McVeigh.

"Red means stop! As in, 'Stop homosexualizin' our country, California!' As in, 'Stop complainin' about the lack of a decent Medicare drug discount card, old peoples!'" McVeigh added.

Registered Democrats didn't seem to happy with the change, either.

"Does this m-mean we're Re-Republicans n-now, mommy?" asked Dolores Mandrell, 6, of New York.

"I'm afraid it does, sweetheart," answered her mother, Juanita Mandrell. "Time to go watch Fox News religiously and lose some IQ points. I guess. Sigh..."

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