Thursday, August 28, 1:01 PM PST

Pedophile Priest Murdered: Last Rites Debate Sparks 10th Crusade

by Cappy Ahab,
NA!P NewsWire

WORCHESTER, MASS. -- Prosecutors investigating the prison death of defrocked priest John Geoghan are curious to know if a failure in security procedures may have contributed to a prison environment that allowed a mass-murdering neo-Nazi -- who hated homosexuals and frequently killed other inmates convicted of pedophilia -- the opportunity to slay the otherwise innocent molester.

Joseph L. Druce is accused of strangling Geoghan to death on Saturday at the Souza-Baranowski Correctional Center in Shirley, Mass.

"It is too soon to tell, but we probably shouldn't have given Druce all those guns and nooses," state Assistant Public Safety Secretary Eugene Barnacle said Monday. "We cannot escape the fact that an inmate was murdered while in the care of the Department of Correction."

"Then again, maybe we can," Barnacle continued. "An autopsy may show he had a heart attack. Maybe a bowel obstruction, if indeed we ever find the deceased's intestinal tract."

Governor Mitt Romney appointed a panel to conduct an independent investigation on Monday. Surveillance cameras filming the protective custody unit while the attack took place also are being reviewed, but have been rated MA for violence and brief nudity.

"At least," said a Romney spokesperson, "we think it was nudity. Might have been a porcelain toilet seat. These surveillance photos are pretty grainy."

John Phillips Sousa's Decendent Weighs In
Assistant District Attorney Dana Plato (no relation to the deceased television star of the same name) said part of the investigation would try to determine why the prison went unstaffed for two weeks while the warden took his employees on a retreat to the Baltimore Orioles Fantasy Camp.

Hoyt Pootie -- director of litigation for the prisoners' rights group "Jail! What Is It Good For?"-- reported to the national prison newspaper The Doin' Times that 17 prisoners at the facility had been slain by Druce in previous weeks, but none of them were even kind of famous.

Druce is believed to have acted alone, except for the massive supply of ammunition he received in a care package from People for Imprisoned Ex-Priest Assassination (PIEPA).

It's unclear whether the ammunition played any role in the death of Geoghan, or the subsequent prison revolution that has taken place at Souza-Baranowski.

When asked his opinion about the attack, Arnold Henry Sousa, descendant of famed American composer John Phillips Sousa, said, "Oh, I get that all the time. It's a different Souza. With a 'z'. We don't have any prisons named after us."



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