Monday, March 10, 11:07 PM EST

Bush Takes 2nd Place in 2nd-Grade Speech Exhibition

by Hesah McToole,
NA!P NewsWire

George W. BushWASHINGTON, D.C. -- George W. Bush claimed second place in a speech exhibition with his fellow second graders at Redwood Elementary School yesterday evening.

The topic: "Is world peace possible?"

Chelsea McMurty, later declared the first-place speaker at the exhibition, opined that "children all across the world should talk to their parents about world peace, because there are enough problems in the world -- including hunger, lack of sanitation and disease -- to worry about."

"Once the parents understand that their children are afraid of war, they'll stop making war with each other."

Former President Disagrees
"Bu-oh-oh-shi-uh-uh-uh-t COUGH," coughed former President George Bush, Sr., sitting among the audience.

McMurty cried in response.

The younger Bush started strong, declaring that "world peacification is only possible when we disarmificate Iraq. I will defense the Constiahtution. That's my job."

But as he continued his prepared statement, Bush began to unravel, interjecting dozens of "ahs" and "uhs" between words and sometimes syllables.

"Saddam Hussein, uh... has had, uhm...12 years to, ah... disarm... He is deceivah.. ing people. This is what's uh... imporah... tant for our feller citiuhm.. zens to realisiah.. ficate."

Progress Unsatisfactory
It became clear to attendees that Bush didn't have a grasp of the concepts he was talking about during the question-and-answer portion of his speech, often greeting queries with blank stares.

"I.. uhm.. uh.. am sworn to defense the Constiah...tution" became a pat reply to the several inquiries regarding Iraq, demonstrators, democratic governments not supporting his war initiative, North Korea and the success of inspections.

"In the end, he just fell apart," Janelle Pantello, Bush's teacher, stated.

"That, and the making up of words. While that's not unusual among seven-year-olds, Junior is a grown man. Even if he is in the second grade."

"That's okay," stated Barbara Bush, Bush's mother. "He'll get over coming in second place -- he's done it before."

EDITOR'S NOTE: Bush is making progress in his continuing education, as reported by U.S. Press.

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