Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2:58 PM PST

Kerry's Plan: Avoid Being Crucified by Press

by Brent the Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire

DES MOINES, Iowa -- A high-ranking staffer for John Kerry revealed recently that the senator from Massachusetts does not want to be the Democratic front runner for the Presidential nomination, fearing the "liberal" media will crucify him.

"Kerry is a veteran. He knows that, if you're a Democrat and you're ahead of the pack, you're a dead man walking as far as the press is concerned," said Kerry campaign staff member who requested anonymity, but whose initials include a "J" and a "K."

The staffer pointed out how Al Gore was utterly savaged by major dailies, network news and weekly magazines in the months leading up to his overthrow as the probably elected president of the United States.

"The papers said he wasn't likable, said he was arrogant, said he claimed to be the inventor of the Internet," continued J.K. "It's all total bullshit, but that's what happens to leading Democrats in any field."

"Now Dean is getting the same media treatment because he's got the numbers. Myself, I... er, I mean, John... would rather skip that part," J.K. added.

Howard Dean, currently leading the race for the Democratic nomination, dismissed the idea that the media went out of its way to smear Democrats.

"It just wouldn't make sense that the American media, charged with the task of keeping America informed, would do that simply because I'm considered by many to be the leading Democrat in this nomination process," Dean said.

The media, however, seemed offended by Dean's statement.

"Dean Lashes Out at Media, Crowns Self Leader," read a headline on the New York Times' front page the next day.

"Media Against Demos, Dean Declares," the New York Post screamed.

The lead headline of the Washington Post stated, "Dean Angry, Spits at Reporters, Hates Babies," while the Chicago Tribune declared "Poll: Americans Despise Dean, Would Drink Beer With Satan First."

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