13, 2:58 PM PST
Kerry's Plan: Avoid Being Crucified by
DES MOINES, Iowa -- A high-ranking staffer for John Kerry
revealed recently that the senator from Massachusetts does
not want to be the Democratic front runner for the Presidential
nomination, fearing the "liberal" media will crucify
is a veteran. He knows that, if you're a Democrat and you're
ahead of the pack, you're a dead man walking as far as the press
is concerned," said Kerry campaign staff member who requested
anonymity, but whose initials include a "J" and a "K."
The staffer pointed out how Al
Gore was utterly savaged by major dailies, network news and weekly
magazines in the months leading up to his overthrow as the probably
elected president of the United States.
"The papers said he wasn't
likable, said he was arrogant, said he claimed to be the inventor
of the Internet," continued J.K. "It's all total bullshit,
but that's what happens to leading Democrats in any field."
"Now Dean is getting the
same media treatment because he's got the numbers. Myself, I...
er, I mean, John... would rather skip that part," J.K. added.
Howard Dean, currently leading
the race for the Democratic nomination, dismissed the idea that
the media went out of its way to smear Democrats.
"It just wouldn't make sense
that the American media, charged with the task of keeping America
informed, would do that simply because I'm considered by many
to be the leading Democrat in this nomination process,"
The media, however, seemed offended
by Dean's statement.
"Dean Lashes Out at Media,
Crowns Self Leader," read a headline on the New York Times'
front page the next day.
"Media Against Demos, Dean
Declares," the New York Post screamed.
The lead headline of the Washington
Post stated, "Dean Angry, Spits at Reporters, Hates Babies,"
while the Chicago Tribune declared "Poll: Americans Despise
Dean, Would Drink Beer With Satan First."
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