3, 3:18 PM PST
Dudes Totally Hanging Out Friday Night
SAN JOSE, Calif. -- Dudes have
declared that they will be hanging out in downtown San Jose on
Friday night, where they will drink a lot of beer, talk a lot
of shit and lie about the girls they're sleeping with.
"Oh man, I just can't even wait
for Friday night," said Manuel Ramirez of Cupertino. "I'm
going to get stinky with beer, and I got me a lot of shit to
Ramirez would not clarify whether
or not that shit included lying about the girls he's allegedly
sleeping with. But his cohorts offered opinions.
"Yeah, that dude's always
going on about this chick and that slut," offered Tran Nguyen,
a resident of Santa Clara. "But we all do that, I guess.
Well, those dudes do -- not me."
"Just last week, Manny was
talking about bagging two biatches on the same day without either
knowing about it," Brian Hendricks of Sunnyvale said. "Dude's
totally full of shit, especially when he's blasted."
"Or maybe that was Tran.
Coulda been Tran. Coulda been Shooter or Franklin, for that matter.
It'll all tends to blur together when you've had a few pitchers
a' Bud, know what I'm saying?"
But Ramirez, Tran, Shooter, Franklin
and Hendricks aren't the only dudes getting drunk, talking shit
and lying about chicks.
"Oh yeah, we hundreds of
drunk, trash-talking dudes bragging about scorin' girls coming
in all the time," said Petey White, proprietor of Wankers,
a bar in downtown San Jose. "They usually drive Cameros."
"One thing most dudes do
here is, they go off to use the crapper and come back claimin'
some gaggle of girls was totally checking 'em out," White
continued. "But usually, they're just starin' at the drunk
guy talking shit about sleeping with each of them while asking
where the toilet is."
However, Ramirez insists that
he isn't one of those "drunk losers" who makes shit
"Dude, swear to God dude,
they were totally checking out my package, and I was like, 'Hey
baby, you wanna come talk with me in the bathroom?' and she was
so into it, dude. And I totally scored."
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