INTERNATIONAL

Tuesday, September 2, 1:48 PM PST

Americans Grieve, Rage After Heat Wave Kills Thousands of Frenchmen

by Brent the Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- France's announcement that the death toll had reached 11,435 during the worst heat wave to strike the nation in decades was met with outpourings of grief and outrage throughout the United States.

"Why, God, why?" asked Ann Coulter in her nationally syndicated column. "Certainly, the French often stood against us in matters of foreign policy, but in the end, they are still foremost among our allies."

"It's just not fair," said a bewildered Geoge W. Bush at a press conference to address the natural disaster, tears glistening in his eyes. "So many deaths, so many hurt, it's..."

Bush turned away and didn't finish his statement.

Americans have long appreciated the French for all they have done for the U.S. in its times of need. France became America's first ally, recognizing it as a nation when no other would in the late 1700s.

More recently, France embraced the U.S. during 9/11, mourning as a nation at the horrific events unfolded. The French newpaper Le Monde summed it up best, declaring, "We Are All Americans."

Today, The New York Times reciprocated the feeling, using its front page to declaim, "We Are All Frenchmen."

"September 11, 2001 will forever be a timeless memorial to the 2,792 people who died in the World Trade Center," the Times editorial board wrote. "Now the Summer of 2003 serves as another memorial, a tragedy which claimed the lives of nearly 12,000 French citizens."

"Indeed, nature is the worst terrorist of all," the editorial concluded.

"Man, I think we need to do something about this, you know?" said Millard McMackey of Thousand Oaks, Calif., leaving roses at the gates of the French Consulate General in Los Angeles. "Sure, they're a bunch of surrender monkeys and disloyal to America a lot, but still we oughta --"

"Yeah, we need to get some air conditioners into Paris and shit," interrupted Jason Reeves of Long Beach. Reeves, an air-conditioner salesman, recently founded airconditioninginparis.com

"We need to go and kick the fucking sun's ass, is what I'm saying, Murican style," McMackey said.

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Coulter Brands Christ a Traitor in New Book, "Treason"

French Government's Continued Belief in "Global Warming" Under Fire for Heat Wave Deaths (GWBush '04)

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