-SPECIAL WE ROCK IRAQ COVERAGE

Tuesday, April 8, 3:10 PM EST

Information Minister Claims U.S. Forces Not Even in Iraq

by Tucker H. Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire

BAGHDAD, IRAQ -- Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf today tried to downplay reports that coalition forces were beginning to roam freely through many parts of Baghdad. In an interview with Al-Jazeera television, the minister indicated that reports of coalition gains were dramatically overblown.

"It is all fabrication, lies, deceit, and propaganda put forth by the Americans, British and their Zionist allies. Their invading forces are nowhere near Baghdad," he said.

"In fact, they are nowhere near Iraq at all! They are not even in the Middle East. Valiant Iraqi forces have pushed the tyrants completely from the country and back across the ocean."

The continual roar of U.S. airplanes could be heard overhead.

Iraq Has Invaded the U.S.
When pressed for more details and presented with contrary information -- that not only were coalition forces still in Iraq but that they controlled over half of the country, including its capitol -- Saeed al-Sahaf was unwavering.

"There is no bit of truth there," he said. "When the Zionist media shows pictures of ruined buildings and military damage, it is not glorious Iraq that is being pictured. It is the hated U.S. We have pushed their armies back to their own country. The fight is now there and in their cities! Iraq will be victorious! God be praised."

One Al-Jazeera correspondent asked how al-Sahaf could explain the historic golden dome of the Najaf mosque that was pictured often in multiple media reports, U.S. tanks moving freely in the foreground. Al-Sahaf had an easy answer.

"Again," he stated. "The American infidels have twisted the truth. That is not Iraq. That is not Najaf. That is a McDonald's in Silver Spring, MD. Our tanks are moving freely in their country! The so-called Iraqi POW's that they keep showing are not Iraqis, they are Canadians!"

Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah!
At one point during the interview, an American M1-A1 tank and several Bradley Fighting Vehicles could clearly be seen through a window behind the minister. This hastened an end to the interview.

"Look out the window behind you," the Al-Jazeera correspondent asked al-Sahaf. "Are those not American tanks?"

Refusing to look, Saeed al-Sahaf walked away from the cameras, his eyes closed tightly, hands over his ears.

"I do not see any tanks! I do not see a window! This interview is over! Curse Al-Jazeera!"


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