8, 3:10 PM EST
Information Minister Claims U.S. Forces
Not Even in Iraq
by Tucker H. Johnson,
BAGHDAD, IRAQ -- Iraqi
Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf today tried to downplay
reports that coalition forces were beginning to roam freely through
many parts of Baghdad. In an interview with Al-Jazeera television,
the minister indicated that reports of coalition gains were dramatically
"It is all fabrication, lies, deceit,
and propaganda put forth by the Americans, British and their
Zionist allies. Their invading forces are nowhere near Baghdad,"
"In fact, they are nowhere near Iraq
at all! They are not even in the Middle East. Valiant Iraqi forces
have pushed the tyrants completely from the country and back
across the ocean."
The continual roar of U.S. airplanes could
be heard overhead.
Iraq Has Invaded the U.S.
When pressed for more details and presented with contrary information
-- that not only were coalition forces still in Iraq but that
they controlled over half of the country, including its capitol
-- Saeed al-Sahaf was unwavering.
"There is no bit of truth there," he
said. "When the Zionist media shows pictures of ruined buildings
and military damage, it is not glorious Iraq that is being pictured.
It is the hated U.S. We have pushed their armies back to their
own country. The fight is now there and in their cities! Iraq
will be victorious! God be praised."
One Al-Jazeera correspondent asked how
al-Sahaf could explain the historic golden dome of the Najaf
mosque that was pictured often in multiple media reports, U.S.
tanks moving freely in the foreground. Al-Sahaf had an easy answer.
"Again," he stated. "The
American infidels have twisted the truth. That is not Iraq. That
is not Najaf. That is a McDonald's in Silver Spring, MD. Our
tanks are moving freely in their country! The so-called Iraqi
POW's that they keep showing are not Iraqis, they are Canadians!"
At one point during the interview, an American M1-A1 tank and
several Bradley Fighting Vehicles could clearly be seen through
a window behind the minister. This hastened an end to the interview.
"Look out the window behind you,"
the Al-Jazeera correspondent asked al-Sahaf. "Are those
not American tanks?"
Refusing to look, Saeed al-Sahaf walked
away from the cameras, his eyes closed tightly, hands over his
"I do not see any tanks! I do not
see a window! This interview is over! Curse Al-Jazeera!"
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