Tuesday, Feb.
3, 1:09 PM PST
Invisible Man Found Dead, Visible
by Cappy
Ahab,
NA!P NewsWire
MINOT, ND -- The now-visible corpse of an unidentified
invisible man was discovered in a large drift outside the International
Snowmobile Speedway and Dairy Queen early Thursday morning. According
to police reports, the middle-aged man was lying face down next
to an empty bottle of mysterious serum.
"Although
no bullet wounds were found on the body, multiple gunshot blasts
to the back are the suspected cause of death," said Sgt.
Herbert "Paul" Waldorf, spokesman for the Minot Police
Department.
"It is obvious that the
wounds closed as the dying man slowly became visible," he
added.
Little else is known about the
victim, except that he appeared to be employed as a mad scientist,
as evidenced by his scraggly beard and bloodshot eyes. A nearby
shopping cart filled with a variety of aluminum beverage cans,
empty pickle tubs and plastic shopping bags was sent to a laboratory
in Fargo for tests. Results are pending.
While local activists continue
to pursue a hypothesis that the man was, in fact, a homeless
vagrant who died of exposure, starvation or liver failure, police
denied that possibility.
"Are you kidding?"
said Officer Jerry Bebpsi, one of the first officers on the scene.
"What kind of idiot would try to live homeless in Minot?
Florida is amazing this time of year!"
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