Monday, July 14, 1:45 AM PST

"League" Crushes "Pirates"; Recount Demanded

by Brent "The Duke" Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire

HOLLYWOOD -- A last-minute rally earned 20th Century-Fox's "League of Extraordinary Assholes" $46.5 million this weekend, assuring it the No. 1 slot at the box office.

The film -- featuring the adventures of George Bush and his wacky gang of right-wing reactionaries in the Middle East -- had a slow start, trailing the $46.4 million that Disney's "Pirates of the Caribbean" had earned by more than $20 million at one point.

A late surge in Florida on Sunday, however, accounted for the unprecedented ticket sales.

"Dude, I totally went to see it, like, you know, like ten times," said Alejandro Flaco, 23, of Miami.

"Bush has some sweet one-liners," insisted Yelina Marino, 29, also of Miami. "Like when he said, 'An -- uh -- And the g-game is er uhmmmm... on?' SWEET!"

Walt Disney Co. is demanding a recount of ticket receipts.

"There is no way that that movie overcame a $20-million deficit and passed 'Pirates,'" said Disney President Michael Eisner.

"I mean, that casting was crap," he continued. "How in the hell could any one suspend their disbelief with the likes of Bush and Rumsfeld running around, acting like they're God's gift? I'll tell you what -- that part when Bush went and said that the U.S. didn't go to war over WMDs? I just laughed and demanded my money back."

Eisner added, "Besides, we had Johnny Depp. That dude's a hottie. Case closed!"


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