21, 6:31 AM PST
Republicans, Democrats Applaud Latest
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Setting aside their many differences,
Democrats and Republicans came together after Bush's "State
of the Union" speech to admire his new duds, despite what
could only be described as a tragically disfiguring tan.
a new single-piece garment made from white lycra and featuring
a blue stripe across the bosom, Bush's usual uncomfortable squirming
became even more pronounced as it became clear that everyone
was more interested in his dress than his address.
"That's a beautiful dress,
Mr. Bush," Rep. Ed Royce (R-CA) said as he kissed Bush's
"It sure is -- you design
it yourself?" chimed in Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA), earning
a brief nod from Bush and a high-five from Royce.
However impressed politicians
were with Bush's dress, many were clearly disturbed by his tan,
which had obviously gone horribly wrong.
"He lookin' like the bacon
I done et this morn'," Sen. Bill Frist (R-TN) commented.
"I wish he were more of
an orange-brown than bacon-brown," Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA)
concurred. "It'd go much nicer with that blue stripe."
White House officials claimed
that the burnt appearance was really the latest thing. "Just
look at Jennifer Love Hewitt if you don't believe me," Press
Secretary Scott McClellan snapped, but no one seemed willing
to take him at his word.
Rep. Tom Delay (R-TX), however,
was not willing to criticize Bush. Later, DeLay was overheard
asking Bush for his address. "I'll forward a copy tomorrow
morning, Tom," Bush said.
"That ain'ta what I'm talkin'
about, sweetheart," DeLay replied.
(no registration required)
The New News
| No Apologies! Press
Copyright © 2004, No Apologies!