POLITICS

Wednesday, Jan. 21, 6:31 AM PST

Republicans, Democrats Applaud Latest Bush Dress

by Brent the Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Setting aside their many differences, Democrats and Republicans came together after Bush's "State of the Union" speech to admire his new duds, despite what could only be described as a tragically disfiguring tan.

Sporting a new single-piece garment made from white lycra and featuring a blue stripe across the bosom, Bush's usual uncomfortable squirming became even more pronounced as it became clear that everyone was more interested in his dress than his address.

"That's a beautiful dress, Mr. Bush," Rep. Ed Royce (R-CA) said as he kissed Bush's hand.

"It sure is -- you design it yourself?" chimed in Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA), earning a brief nod from Bush and a high-five from Royce.

However impressed politicians were with Bush's dress, many were clearly disturbed by his tan, which had obviously gone horribly wrong.

"He lookin' like the bacon I done et this morn'," Sen. Bill Frist (R-TN) commented.

"I wish he were more of an orange-brown than bacon-brown," Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) concurred. "It'd go much nicer with that blue stripe."

White House officials claimed that the burnt appearance was really the latest thing. "Just look at Jennifer Love Hewitt if you don't believe me," Press Secretary Scott McClellan snapped, but no one seemed willing to take him at his word.

Rep. Tom Delay (R-TX), however, was not willing to criticize Bush. Later, DeLay was overheard asking Bush for his address. "I'll forward a copy tomorrow morning, Tom," Bush said.

"That ain'ta what I'm talkin' about, sweetheart," DeLay replied.

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