Friday, March 21, 10:32 AM EST

War Protestors Protest Ease of War

by Cappy Ahab,
NA!P NewsWire

OMAHA, NEB. -- Thousands of devoted anti-war protesters crowded the Omaha Mall (Next to the Big Bear Farm Implement Outlet) to condemn the "unhorriffic bloodlessness" of the recent hostilities in Iraq.

"Come on," said Steve Haywood, a sophomore at Osborne North High School, who was part of a contingent of secondary school students taking advantage of the lovely weather and the fact that it was a school day to loiter around the Buckle, a regional clothing chain store.

"It is really difficult to justify skipping school for a war that doesn't really kill many people. I really hope they get rolling on this thing. Otherwise, on Monday I'm just going to tell everyone that I was sick today."

Professional Protester Totally Bummed
Bluu Starr, a local professional activist and self-described left-wing spokesperson, said, "I am appalled that George Bush's little boy would wage such a narrow war against a single innocent individual like Saddam Hussein. This is crass. And way more difficult to protest."

Starr added, "I guess if the troops actually do get the oil without blood, I suppose the peace movement could simply declare victory and go home."

At the nearby Starbucks Coffee, Harv Eilers, a fifth-year senior at the University of Nebraska-Omaha and beverage artist said, "Business has been really good today with all the extra shoppers. Is there a flea market today? Anyway, what do I care? I'm not paid on commission."

"GO HUSKERS!" Eilers added.


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