21, 10:32 AM EST
War Protestors Protest Ease of War
by Cappy Ahab,
NEB. -- Thousands of devoted anti-war
protesters crowded the Omaha Mall (Next to the Big Bear Farm
Implement Outlet) to condemn the "unhorriffic bloodlessness"
of the recent hostilities in Iraq.
"Come on," said Steve Haywood,
a sophomore at Osborne North High School, who was part of a contingent
of secondary school students taking advantage of the lovely weather
and the fact that it was a school day to loiter around the Buckle,
a regional clothing chain store.
"It is really difficult to justify
skipping school for a war that doesn't really kill many people.
I really hope they get rolling on this thing. Otherwise, on Monday
I'm just going to tell everyone that I was sick today."
Professional Protester Totally
Bluu Starr, a local professional activist and self-described
left-wing spokesperson, said, "I am appalled that George
Bush's little boy would wage such a narrow war against a single
innocent individual like Saddam Hussein. This is crass. And way
more difficult to protest."
added, "I guess if the troops actually do get the oil without
blood, I suppose the peace movement could simply declare victory
and go home."
At the nearby Starbucks Coffee, Harv Eilers,
a fifth-year senior at the University of Nebraska-Omaha and beverage
artist said, "Business has been really good today with all
the extra shoppers. Is there a flea market today? Anyway, what
do I care? I'm not paid on commission."
"GO HUSKERS!" Eilers added.
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