11, 10:39 AM PST
Bush, ABC Team Up for "No Child"
by Cappy Ahab,
ST. PAUL, MN. -- In
an unprecedented move, George W. Bush announced that, for the
first time in the history of television, the White House and
a major network would come together to flood the Saturday night
schedule with interrelated quality programs based on exciting
new federal policies.
made the announcement during a fundraising speech at a downtown
First in ABC's Saturday prime time line
up is "No Child Left Behind" a sitcom about preventing
qualified teachers from affecting the learning process. Test
audiences have reportedly gone so crazy for the program that
pre-pilot merchandise sales are nearly 80 percent above industry
"No Child Left Behind" action
figures, trading cards and casual wear lead the retail onslaught
(8:00pm EST, 7:00 CST).
Companion spin-off "No Child Left
Ahead" deals with the outrageous middle-class struggles
of a bright and plucky teenager who fails to feign disinterest
in World Literature class (8:30pm EST, 7:30 CST).
Finally, the hour long drama "No Teacher
Left Intact" stars Jill Eikenberry as a burned-out, inner-city
math teacher who is inspired by one of her students to deal crack
and run numbers (9:00pm EST, 8:00 CST).
"What's good for ABC is good for education,"
Bush stated. "And what's good for education is good for
"The TV has pictures on it what move,"
The New News
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