Thursday, September 11, 10:39 AM PST

Bush, ABC Team Up for "No Child" Spinoffs

by Cappy Ahab,
NA!P NewsWire

ST. PAUL, MN. -- In an unprecedented move, George W. Bush announced that, for the first time in the history of television, the White House and a major network would come together to flood the Saturday night schedule with interrelated quality programs based on exciting new federal policies.

Bush made the announcement during a fundraising speech at a downtown Krispy Kreme.

First in ABC's Saturday prime time line up is "No Child Left Behind" a sitcom about preventing qualified teachers from affecting the learning process. Test audiences have reportedly gone so crazy for the program that pre-pilot merchandise sales are nearly 80 percent above industry expectations.

"No Child Left Behind" action figures, trading cards and casual wear lead the retail onslaught (8:00pm EST, 7:00 CST).

Companion spin-off "No Child Left Ahead" deals with the outrageous middle-class struggles of a bright and plucky teenager who fails to feign disinterest in World Literature class (8:30pm EST, 7:30 CST).

Finally, the hour long drama "No Teacher Left Intact" stars Jill Eikenberry as a burned-out, inner-city math teacher who is inspired by one of her students to deal crack and run numbers (9:00pm EST, 8:00 CST).

"What's good for ABC is good for education," Bush stated. "And what's good for education is good for the TV."

"The TV has pictures on it what move," he added.


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