ENTERTAINMENT

Tuesday, Dec. 16, 8:31 PM PST

Reality TV Show Ends With Bloody Face Feast

by Brent the Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire

SAN FRANCISCO -- Fans of UPN's reality TV show "The Perfect Girl" are in shock tonight after witnessing a contestant eat the face off the woman for whom he was competing.

Wanda Wayens of Eugene, Ore. expressed dismay and disgust with contestant Rick Lurman's choice of emotional expression.

"First they were kissing, and I mean they were kissing kissing. Then all of the sudden, Diane was jerking spastically and waving her arms around, while Rick's face got all covered in her blood," Wayens said.

Within seconds, the remains of Diane Wegleman's face hung like a wet rag from Rick's mouth. Fortunately, UPN displayed his muffled words with closed captioning.

"DUDE, YOU WERE GOING TO PICK JASON, WEREN'T YOU? WEREN'T YOU?" Rick howled.

"AAAGGGHHH!!!" Diane screamed.

"YOU ARE NOW MINE -- FOREVER!" Rick answered, strips of shredded face hanging from his lips and chin.

"BLAR-RAAGH!" Diane screamed.

"STOP WHINING, DUDE!" Rick demanded. "IT'S NOT! THAT! BAD!"

Jason Bright, the contestant widely thought to be Diane's favorite, discussed the incident with co-contestants Fleet Hollinger and Willy Petranos as they prepared to leave the island.

"Rick's just totally immature," Jason said. "He was going to lose, so he had to make sure everyone lost. Stupid, dudes."

Fleet and Willy were concurring with Jason's remarks just as Rick walked into the room, still covered in gore.

"Dudes, I just wanted to apologize for being such a jerk," Rick said, eyes glistening. "I know what I did was wrong, and that I messed up your chances and all, Jay. I'm really sorry, dude."

Jason later said that he appreciated Rick's forthrightness.

"Dude, that took balls, admitting he was wrong like that," Jason said. "I'm just glad he was dude enough to come back and apologize for his actions. Rick's definitely matured during his time here."

Diane was hospitalized and remains in critical condition at an undisclosed location.

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