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Wednesday, October 19, 6:53 AM PST

Massachusetts Court Recognizes Same-Sex Servitude

by Brent the Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire

BOSTON -- Proponents for same-sex servitude won a major victory today when the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts declared that the state could not bar such unions.

However, the court failed to define who owned whom in the 4-3 decision.

While marriage is now universally seen as a bond of love between a man and a woman, it is actually a legally binding contract that makes a woman the property of a man.

Derrick Stannage and Robert Tulls of Worchester, Mass. were ecstatic with the decision.

"For all these years, you straight shooters tried to force me to tie my financial and legal fate with a woman. Well, you can just stick it, because my bitch is a man, baby!" Stannage declared.

"Your bitch? Hell no, you're my bitch," Tulls replied.

"You homo!" Stannage answered.

Such exchanges between gay and lesbian couples are becoming commonplace now that same-sex servitude is legally recognized. After all, who is the bitch?

"It was a lot easier when marriage was between a man and a woman," admitted Henry Franksworth, a sociologist at the University of Boston who has studied the matter for 12 years.

"Because a man had a penis, you see."

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