19, 6:53 AM PST
Massachusetts Court Recognizes Same-Sex
BOSTON -- Proponents
for same-sex servitude won a major victory today when the Supreme
Judicial Court of Massachusetts declared that the state could
not bar such unions.
the court failed to define who owned whom in the 4-3 decision.
While marriage is now universally seen
as a bond of love between a man and a woman, it is actually a
legally binding contract that makes a woman the property of a
Derrick Stannage and Robert Tulls of Worchester,
Mass. were ecstatic with the decision.
"For all these years, you straight
shooters tried to force me to tie my financial and legal fate
with a woman. Well, you can just stick it, because my bitch is
a man, baby!" Stannage declared.
"Your bitch? Hell no, you're
my bitch," Tulls replied.
"You homo!" Stannage answered.
Such exchanges between gay and lesbian
couples are becoming commonplace now that same-sex servitude
is legally recognized. After all, who is the bitch?
"It was a lot easier when marriage
was between a man and a woman," admitted Henry Franksworth,
a sociologist at the University of Boston who has studied the
matter for 12 years.
"Because a man had a penis, you see."
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