Wednesday, October 29, 3:33 PM PST

Area Man Files Suit Against Satire Media

by Cappy Ahab,
NA!P NewsWire

BLOOMINGTON, IND. -- In a suit filed Monday in a U.S. District Court, a local man accuses multiple media satire periodicals -- including corporate monolith The Onion -- of privacy violations, stemming from the humor industry's over reliance on observational comedy.

Other named defendants, including Mad Magazine, RealFunny.com (on hiatus) and the now defunct HaHaImLaughingDailyNews.com, are accused of contributing to a "mass-media personal attack" on the area man.

The plaintiff alleges that the defendants have used "high-tech surveillance equipment, countless agents and a very broad sense of what is funny" in their quest to defame and ridicule him.

The suit reads: "Plaintiff alleges that The Onion, et al. have secretly tracked his movements and daily activities. Through the use of espionage and surreptitious data collection methods, Defendants have illegally invaded the privacy of Plaintiff."

The area man also alleges that the defendants have used "exaggeration and downright lies" to discredit, defame and libel him -- albeit sometimes in a funny way -- for commercial benefit.

"For instance, The Onion insists that Plaintiff keeps mentioning he doesn't own a television," reads the complaint. "In fact, he only mentions it once per person, maybe twice when having a cold one with friends."

In addition to unspecified damages, the plaintiff demands that defendants cease the publication of any fictitious, exaggerated or otherwise untrue articles regarding the area man on the basis that such activity is "played out. Way out."

The suit also demands that defendants give the area man any profits accumulated through distribution of such humor articles.

The editor of The Onion, Carol Kolb, would not return calls for comment. Later, the paper published "Area Man Attacked, Killed by Untraceable Satire Ninjas" in its October 15 edition.

In the interest of full disclosure, The New News acknowledges that its parent company, No Apologies! Press, holds some small investments in the humor industry. Very small investments.

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