5, 3:41 PM PST
Scalia Still on Cheney Court Case Despite
Being His Lover
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In spite of the recently publicized
relationship between Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and
Vice President Dick Cheney, the justice has declined to recuse
himself from a case involving the former energy tycoon.
The case, brought by the Sierra Club
and Judicial Watch, is the White House's appeal of a lower court's
decision that required Cheney to turn over documents outlining
which energy tycoons and lobbyists helped the Bush Administration
develop the nation's energy policy.
But weeks after the Supreme Court
agreed to hear the appeal, Cheney and Scalia were photographed
holding hands, kissing and making man-love during a "hunting
trip" to Louisiana.
Federal law dictates judges must
withdraw from cases in which they have an interest. But despite
their now-public love affair, Scalia says he remains "impartial,"
likening the tryst to a D.C. dinner party.
"I do not think my impartiality
could reasonably be questioned," he said in a letter
to the Los Angeles Time.
Of course, the opposing parties
completely disagree, arguing that "once penetration has
been made into any orifice, impartiality is out the door."
"The only way Scalia could
be truly impartial in this case is if he made massive man-love
to me," declared Larry Fahn, president of the Sierra Club.
"And I sincerely doubt he's interested in a tree-hugger
Fahn's words drew an angry retort
from Cheney officials.
"Antonin is a judge of the
highest court in the land, and to suggest that he would make
massive man-love to just anyone is flabbergasting and,
frankly, insulting," a Cheney spokesman said this morning.
Scalia was quick to reply to
Fahn's words as well.
"Is he hot?" Scalia
replied. "Is he gay? No gays for me, thanks."
ARGH! Turns out Whitehouse.org
beat us to the punch. Our photo's better, though!
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