POLITICS

Thursday, Feb. 5, 3:41 PM PST

Scalia Still on Cheney Court Case Despite Being His Lover

by Brent the Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In spite of the recently publicized relationship between Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia and Vice President Dick Cheney, the justice has declined to recuse himself from a case involving the former energy tycoon.

The case, brought by the Sierra Club and Judicial Watch, is the White House's appeal of a lower court's decision that required Cheney to turn over documents outlining which energy tycoons and lobbyists helped the Bush Administration develop the nation's energy policy.

But weeks after the Supreme Court agreed to hear the appeal, Cheney and Scalia were photographed holding hands, kissing and making man-love during a "hunting trip" to Louisiana.

Federal law dictates judges must withdraw from cases in which they have an interest. But despite their now-public love affair, Scalia says he remains "impartial," likening the tryst to a D.C. dinner party.

"I do not think my impartiality could reasonably be questioned," he said in a letter to the Los Angeles Time.

Of course, the opposing parties completely disagree, arguing that "once penetration has been made into any orifice, impartiality is out the door."

"The only way Scalia could be truly impartial in this case is if he made massive man-love to me," declared Larry Fahn, president of the Sierra Club. "And I sincerely doubt he's interested in a tree-hugger like me."

Fahn's words drew an angry retort from Cheney officials.

"Antonin is a judge of the highest court in the land, and to suggest that he would make massive man-love to just anyone is flabbergasting and, frankly, insulting," a Cheney spokesman said this morning.

Scalia was quick to reply to Fahn's words as well.

"Is he hot?" Scalia replied. "Is he gay? No gays for me, thanks."

ARGH! Turns out Whitehouse.org beat us to the punch. Our photo's better, though!

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