POLITICS

Wednesday, October 15, 6:54 PM PST

Bush Vetoes Viagra for Congress

by Brent the Johnson,
NA!P NewsWire

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a move that stirred heartfelt, but ultimately impotent, anger among members of the Legislature, George W. Bush vetoed Congress' pet project, the Congressional Viagra Appropriation Bill.

The bill would have provided every congressman with a lifetime supply of the anti-emasculation drug. Conservative estimates placed the total cost at about $200 million.

"It's not f-fair!" cried Congressman Tom Allen (D-Maine) after the veto. "The execu-executive branch is supposed t-to carry out the Legislature's laws!"

"B-but Bush keeps bossin' us around!" he added.

Allen then burst into tears, and continued to weep quietly as a staffer held and comforted him.

Bush expressed no regrets about blocking Congress' quest for the man-making drug.

"If them sissies in Congress wanna be men, they should drink a good stiff cup of Folgers Special Roast every morning," Bush declared.

"That'll put some hair on them ladies' chests," he added.

The veto marks yet another defeat for Congress at the hands of the Bush Administration, which has again and again thwarted the law-making body at every turn, from minor requests to review the names of White House energy advisors, to trumping Congress's war-making powers when invading Iraq.

According to the bill's proponents, Congressional Viagra would "level the playing field" between them and the White House, which has recently "had some serious balls while chopping off ours," according to Senator George Allen (R-Virginia).

"I just want to feel like a man again," Allen continued, whispering softly, like a girl.

"Yes, please, help George be a man again," pleaded the senator's wife, Susan, desperately. "PLEASE!"

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas), who is suspected of sharing a private stash of Viagra with a few key Republican congressmen, was one of the few members of the House to applaud Bush's veto.

"Damn buncha faggot boys in Congress just wanna pump each other up the wazoo, I'll tell you what," DeLay declared. "Ain't no call to spend taxpayers' money to support hoMOsexuAlitee, I'll tell you what."

DeLay also promised that, should Congress attempted to override the president's veto, he'd personally geld the treasonous bastards.

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