Tuesday, July 17, 8:45 AM PST

My Honest Opinion on the Commercialization of the Olympics

by Zeus, King of the Gods,
NA!P NewsWire


(TRANSLATION: What the hell have they done to my beloved Olympics? This whole event used to be dedicated to us gods, you know! And now look at it, all you see is advertisements for Coca Cola and giant billboards! This shit is wacked and I'm gonna do something about it right away! Ha! Take that! Lightning bolt right in your anus, foo! Take that! And that! And that, too! Ha ha ha, I'm Zeus, king of the gods! Feel my wrath and despair, foolish humans! This is what happens when you sign an endorsment contract and don’t include me, da king, in it! Take that! And that! And that too! You humans are like flies to me! I shit on you and your puny Coca Cola Company! Take that! And that! I’ll shove this lightning bolt so far up your ass that your teeth’ll shoot sparks! The Spartans were so tough they used to eat raw grain and run until they died from exhaustion, you know, and now look at you guys! “Doping” this and “doping” that. Can´t even run without chemical assistance, huh? Well fuck you! Take that! And that! And THIS! HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA! I´m da man! DA MAN!!!)

-- translation by zer0

Comment in the forum
(no registration required)

A Few Thoughts on Fair Play, Sportsmanship

Kournikova Ends Sharapova's Blooming Career With Extreme Prejudice

Piston Fans to Kimmel: Detroit Will Burn, Win or Lose

Tampa Bay Devil Rays Win Nobel Prize in Physics

Athens, GA Despairs Over Loss of Olympics (Watley Review)

The New News | No Apologies! Press

Copyright © 2004, No Apologies! Press
The New News: Satire for the Unwashed Masses