I'm thinking I don't really want to join the party because the party looks a little too crowded already. Having to muscle for an entrance just isn't my idea of a gratifying experience. And the arrow pointing to the guy's right nut, asking "wish you were here?" doesn't necessarily inspire me either. No, there are many other places I would rather be than a testicle. And why do I get the sense that there is nothing amateur about this? I guess these folks just do this as a hobby.

Let's see... semi-attractive face... tight body... short skirt... wait a minute... hold on just a minute... what the hell is that? Is that a... ? Jesus Christ! A penis!!! I don't want all the hardware, thank you very much. No one wants all the hardware. We want software -- silky, silky software -- and that's all! Hot chicks = good porn; chicks with cocks = bad porn. It's not all good. It's really, really bad. If "Trannies Online" isn't about transmissions, no straight guy is going to visit.

Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. What porn site operator sat down and thought, "you know what gets guys REALLY hot when they turn down the lights and sit down at their computers with a box of Kleenex, fat chicks with mullets. Yep, fat chicks with mullets." This must be some niche market that this site thinks it can tap into. For the rest of us, I can't imagine anything involving that big blond behemoth being even remotely stimulating. The white horse and the lightning do give the banner a touch of class, however.

For Sale: Used vagina. Must sell! Newer model vag, high mileage, leaks a little around the valves, fully loaded, lots of xtras, runs good, $19.99 obo.

Porn for 6-month-olds! Talk about a market that no one has ever thought of before. And for once, a porn site is going to appeal to a non-male audience. Babies of both sexes will be scrambling to see this lady "express herself" all that she can, driving up the demand on baby formula everywhere! What, is Gerber's a secret sponsor? But no real man wants to be anywhere near those things when they are spouting stuff. We are in complete denial that they are used for anything other than tweaking and simple sucking. We would like to keep it that way.