EL TEJANO SEZ:
Let's take a gander at these here Porn Banners!"
First up -- well, the ad reads "Extra Large Nipples"
but the great pics are just extra large boobs with rather large
areola. Now, areola's a mighty fancy name for a cowpoke like
me, but I don't see any large nipples! That's just steerin' folks
wrong. But hell, I don't mind! Them tig'ol'biddies look like
a good ol' time! And they're just like my ten-gallon hat -- and
just as much fun to put on my head!
Lesse here, what we got for this second ad? I'm already tired
after rubbin' one out from that last ad... whoa, is that a woman?
Looks like someone forgot to take off the feedbag! Now, what
in the hell is BBW? Big Bovine Woman? Sheesh. Speaking
of bovines, I'll be right back . . .
Ah, that was fun. Had to put ol' Bessie on her knees, which she
don't take too kindly to, but it gets her just the right height.
So lesse here, what we gots next? Hrm, hungry girls tasting their
own nipples? Okay. But wouldn't that make them thirsty, not hungry?
Why's this site called Fat Pie? If the girls are so hungry they
want to taste nipples, how'd they get fat? I remember once I
stole a pie from Ol' Miss Johnson's winder-sill and took it out
to the back forty. After I had my way with it, I ate some. It
was great. Ol' Miss Johnson saw the whole thing, though. She
said if I put my thingie in her special place, she'd leave me
alone. So I stuck it in her mouth. I don't think this site would
be as good as that.
Fat ass mamas! Here we go, oh wait, they mean large in the seatin'
area. I reckoned this here site'd have naked ladies on donkeys.
Well, my pa did say to find a woman with birthin' hips, but I
don't want to think about birthin' when I'm one-handed typin'
on this dang-ol' pornsite. Unless it's birthin' donkeys... be
Well this here ad sure does suck. It's just words, and I ain't
too good with words. Lesse here, too fast to read, something
about something coming here, fat tit... OH MAH LAWD -- it's Fat
Hot Mama! Now I do remember hearing about this show called The
View with this here woman, but I did not know she partook in
the adult entertainment. Now I sure do love "fatty tit"
and I'm sure Cathy's got nice ones, but it's this enticement
to see her eat coconuts whole. Now that reminds me of this one
time at the state fair outside of Ft. Worth when a lonely carnie
wanted to teach me about sword swallowing...
EL TEJANO SEZ: