Wednesday October 10, 5:24 PM ET

NA!P Sues Networks Over Retaliation Slogan

by Hesah McToole,
NA!P New News NewsWire

SAN FRANCISCO -- Claiming that the "America Strikes Back ®" slogan belongs to them, No Apologies! Press (NA!P) formally filed a trademark infringement suit today against the National Broadcasting Company (NBC), Cable News Network (CNN) and Fox Entertainment Group.

NBC, CNN and Fox have continually used the slogan to lead off nearly every newscast since Oct. 7, when the U.S. began carrying out retaliatory strikes against Afghanistan.

"After the tragic events of the 11th, we worked night and day to develop the perfect catch-all phrases for our coverage of the terrorist attacks and the anticipated ass-whuppin' we was gonna give them Taliban," said NA!P Chairman Brent Johnson.

"We wanted to give our audience the best war slogan, period. One that would shake our loyal readers, just like 'Rock You Like a Hurricane' totally caught The Scorpion's fan base off-guard, even though they already knew The Scorpions rocked."

NA!P had earlier considered filing similar suits against the major news networks for lifting such slogans as "America Rising ®", "America Under Attack ®" and "America on Alert ®," all of which NA!P representatives claim to have developed during the first harrowing hours of the terrorist attacks.

The U.S. Trademark and Patent Office did not return calls to confirm registration of these slogans.

CREATING A SLOGAN
"We knew that if we didn't come up with something original, then the terrorists had already won, and we didn't want that to happen," NA!P President Jeff Good said, recalling the feverish pitch of NA!P board meetings the day of the attacks.

"We resolved to create a patriotic two-to-three-word catchphrase around which a nation in mourning could rally. To keep America interested in a good one-liner."

Good had nothing but derision for the slogans used by the other networks not named in the suit.

"Didja see what CBS and ABC used? 'America Fights Back.' Like, der! Talk about showing your belly to the beast. Those guys should just wave the white flag and cry for mommy. At least those other networks stole from the best."

What has hurt NA!P the most, according to Good, is that a major case of white-collar crime has taken place under the country's nose, and no one seems to care.

"When you think about it, our Intellectual Property Tower was metaphorically slammed by a Boeing. In a corporate sense. You don't see any memorials for us, do you? Makes you think."

NA!P STRIKES BACK
"'America Strikes Back ® '... You know, we knew we had something special with that one," NA!P CEO Ken Hughes said.

"There was like, this energy, you know? Like we had just come upon a pot of gold, and everything almost, almost made sense," Hughes continued.

"Then BAM! Second-rate media jockeys come flying in and steal our line. Fucking shook our world. The fuckers. Well, someone's gotta pay, and I'll tell you what, it ain't gonna be us."

Hughes points out that this is not the first time the major networks has raided NA!P's creative work.

"Remember NBC's 'Dreamed Deferred' bits during the Olympics? Find some poor goatherder Olympian, add some limp voiceovers about how in his village, they count the years by four, all that shit?

"All us. We were totally ripped off."

Hughes has a final warning for networks who might decide to borrow liberally from NA!P's creative efforts.

"They best not steal our 'America: The Aftermath ®' or "America Afterward ®' slogans, which we have lined up for when we're done kicking Taliban ass. Cuz we'll go apeshit. Seriously."


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Full Disclosure: As per THE NEW NEWS policy to "let truth lead us," we hereby disclose that THE NEW NEWS is an affiliate of No Apologies! Press. In no way has the affiliation of THE NEW NEWS affected its coverage of No Apologies! Press.

Copyright © 2001, No Apologies! Press

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FOOD:
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OP/ED:
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