THE DEPTHS OF MADNESS & DESPAIR WITH YOUR DABBLINGS IN THE
NEFARIOUS DRINKS OF ASIA?
was an accident. Uhm... to save the world?
THE FUCK IS THIS:
my friend, is "Vital Stats," useful for all the idiots
out there who'd rather scan than read, even if their life is
on the line. Sorry, but we believe that NO ONE deserves the agonizing
pain that is these Asian drinks.
WAS YOUR METHODOLOGY FOR TESTING THE TASTE AND CONSISTENCY OF
THESE DRINKS, SIR?
we did rigorously employ the strict standards of methodologidation.
IS YOUR BACKGROUND IN THE FIELD OF TESTING DRINKS? WHAT QUALIFICATIONS
DO YOU POSSESS? WHAT OF YOUR EDUCATION?
has a degree in English and has moved boxes around for most of
his adult life. Brent's BA qualifies him for anything, like welfare.
Drinkachu is the close cousin (ripoff! shhh!) of a major cartoon
character who can say one word and variations thereof and is
often seen endorsing various drinks. Drinkachu, understandably,
is our lead taste tester and we often defer to his learned judgement.
KNOW YOU'RE RIPPING OFF THE BAD CANDY LADS, RIGHT?
well, we update much more frequently.
I KNOW THE DARK NEMESIS IS EVIL AND ALL, BUT IS SHE AVAILABLE
Well, if she is, we get first dibs! After we break this nasty
drinking habit of hers...
HAVE YOU TRIED SUCH AND SUCH CRAZY DRINK?
Maybe. Maybe not. Stay tuned, or
Ask, Dammit, ASK!