The Top 15 Wicked
Film Critics' Descriptions of Diane Kruger, AKA "Helen of
Troy"
There's
othing like fat ugly women and desperately lonely men ripping
on a the new hotness.
(Posted Wednesday,
May 19, 2004)
ASTOUNDING
SCI-FI TALES OF HORROR:
The Brainfest Club
The
continuing adventures of zombies and teenagers and the news anchors
who cover them so wily-like. It
continues like a continuing continuation! Continuing!
BADASS BLUE
MOON MAMA:
Gwen, the Ugly Dyke
Mama
goes off on a group she knows... intimately... the Victimized
Lesbians Association of America!
(Posted Thursday,
August 28, 2003)
BADASS BLUE
MOON MAMA:
Hey, Hardee's!
Introducing:
A chick writer! Sweet, we haven't had one of those contributing
to our site since, like, forever! Her first article relates a
harrowing journey to the deep, dark South. It's
very scary until she humanizes the inhabitants. Whatever!
(Posted Wednesday,
June 18, 2003)
PERSONAL TRAGEDIES,
Part 3
If
only these pervs hadn't so many pictures of their dicks. Oh,
it's not all a schlong-fest -- sometimes
it's just ridiculous examples of mangerms gone wrong...
(Posted Friday,
October 25, 2002)
PERSONAL TRAGEDIES,
Part 2
Yeah.
More of the same dong we got when placing
a personal ad on the Internet...
(Posted Monday,
June 6, 2002)
PERSONAL TRAGEDIES,
Part 1
Probably
NA!P's grossest, sickest, most disturbing project to date, but
let this be a warning to all the girls out there thinking about
placing
a personal ad on the Internet...
(Posted Monday,
February 14, 2002)
KING MONGO
GAME REVIEW:
Max Payne
by King
Mongo, Professional Game Reviewer
King
Mongo likes this game. Unless he doesn't. It's so frustrating
reading his review of this
third-person shooter!!!
(Posted Monday,
November 12, 2001)
KING MONGO
GAME REVIEW:
Black & White
by King
Mongo, Professional Game Reviewer
King
Mongo says this, King Mongo says that, but whatever he's saying,
it's usually not about Black
& White.
(Posted Sunday,
August 26, 2001)
CRAZY ASIAN
DRINKS:
The Third Batch
by Brent,
Jeff & Drinkachu
Damn,
but we're on fire. We get so saucy on ourselves that we even
take on the giant megacorp, Coca-Cola! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA -- pant, pant -- HA HA HA! Read
it now and spare your stomach!
(Posted Saturday,
May 12, 2001)
GOAT SEX
by Darkle
Hark!
What is that? Yes, mortal, it is the bellowing yawp of the new
God of Insight (literally). Prepare yourself, little person,
for the wit and wisdom of one who can communicate so much about
ourselves as a species in the
briefest of words.
(Posted Wednesday,
March. 28, 2001)
CRAZY ASIAN
DRINKS:
The Second Batch
by Brent,
Jeff & Drinkachu
Three
more fucked-up drinks, our Dark Nemesis, some hate mail, and
BLARGH!.
(Posted Tuesday,
Feb. 26, 2001)
WHAT IF ARKANSAS
WERE ON SURVIVOR?
by Ken Hughes
(AKA Doombunny)
Doombunny
votes off all the states he hates! Hooray!
(Posted Tuesday,
Feb. 20, 2001)
CHRIS DAVENPORT
ROLEPLAY COMICS!
The Beginning...
by Jeff
Good, from transcripts by Chris Davenport
Be scared.
Be very scared. Over the course of four articles, Chris had managed
to utterly destroy The Alliance of Lawful Race of Missouri. And
now, perhaps, perhaps only he can reunite it in time to face
Orc Clans and Chaos Warriors. Stick with us (please! We don't
want to be alone!) as we delve into the imaginations of some
of the saddest people you'll ever experience. Presented
in easy-to-deal-with comic format.
(Posted Tuesday,
Feb. 13, 2001)
ARNOLD REVIEWS
ARNOCORPS
by Arnold
Schwarzenegger
Tribute
bands come and go, but you have to be something special to get
Conan himself to cover a group devoted to his ass-kickin' movies
-- ARNOCORPS! Read
the words
that nearly scared the shit out of me when I realized it was
indeed Arnold himself who promised to punish me if I didn't publish
his work!
(Posted Saturday,
Feb. 10, 2001)
FOR SHAME,
DWARFLOVER!
by "Duke
Suetir Borlan of the Human Empire"
Jesus,
roleplayers never give up, do they? It appears that Chris Davenport
has singlehandedly destroyed the "balance of power"
among the gaming comunities of Missouri. A human delivers Larry
Pressfield's latest and last response, and has a proposition
of his own. Read
all about it, nerd!
(Posted Thursday,
January. 22, 2001)
CRAZY ASIAN DRINKS:
The First Batch
by Brent,
Jeff & Drinkachu
The latest
continuing feature by NA!P, we've forgone humor and seek to save
the world from the
dastardly "drinks" that Asian companies have foisted upon
the planet in the name of refreshment, but are actually designed
to sicken and KILL.
(Posted Friday,
Dec. 22, 2000)
PERHAPS I
WAS MISTAKEN: GAMERS WHO PLAY ELVES SUCK
by Chris
Davenport
Larry
Pressfield demanded an apology from Davenport, and Davenport
responds by tearing Pressfield a new asshole. Can you believe
it? Someone demanding an apology from a regular at NO APOLOGIES!
(it ain't just a name, folks -- SO SORRY). This
is the reason why
Davenport is our resident expert on roleplay issues, and Pressfield
is not.
(Posted Tuesday,
Nov. 21, 2000)
LET'S HIRE
SOMEONE TO KICK EMINEM'S ASS!
by Chesuta
A moving,
important work that should be read
by any 14-year-old "bad ass" who wears his caps sideways,
limps when he walks, and declares "Daaammmnnn... she a tight
ride, yo" whenever a prebubescent girl happens to be around:
Chester will put you in your place. Word
up.
(Posted Saturday,
Nov. 11, 2000)
RALPH NADER
IS AN IDIOT
by Ken Hughes
(AKA Doom Bunny)
In case
you missed the mass invective nearly every liberal has spat at
Nader and the Green Party, get your summary of it here. (Funny -- Perot taking
19 percent of the vote from Bush Senior didn't draw the ire of
the masses like Nader's draw of three percent. Ah well, I hated
Bush anyway.)
(Posted Saturday,
Nov. 11, 2000)
THE ELVES
OF ST. LOUIS RESPOND!
by Larry
Pressfield
As High
Elflord of the Greater St. Louis Metropolitan Region gaming club,
Larry felt it was his responsibility to respond to Chris Davenport's
"defamatory and inflamatory" opinion of the value of
elves in the world of roleplay.
(Posted Sunday,
October 29, 2000)
HOW TO SHOP
AT A MUSIC/VIDEO STORE WITHOUT BEING A SHITFUCK
by Erin
Do you
often come across the pure, tangible hate of music and video
retailers? Chances are, you're a "shitfuck" -- one
who never learned common sense and courtesy. Here's the easy-to-use
guide
to cure you of your problem, bastard.
E-ZLEGAL SUCKS!
by Ezlegalsucks
What
happens when you write an email to a two-bit company, pointing
out that the company is stealing the trademarks of their much
more successful competitor? You get flamed by the office of the
president, of course.
CONFESSIONS
OF A DWARF LOVER
by Chris Davenport
Chris
Davenport, Role-Play Master Extraordinaire, goes against the
grain of most gamers and plays
dwarf characters.
(Bonus! Davenport compares roleplaying systems -- the good, the
bad and the ugly.)
SPECIAL OLYMPICS
SURVIVOR
by That Cavortin' Bastard
It's inevitable -- the
success of CBS's "Survivor" will lead to spinoffs galore.
Retards
on a deserted island will probably be the most interesting.
