Saturday, November 23, 3:53 AM EST
BUSH DECLARES NOTHING WRONG WITH ECONOMY
by Tucker H. Johnson,
-- President Bush believes current fears about a weakened U.S.
economy are largely unfounded.
Speaking at a luncheon hosted by the Rich
Republicans for Homeland Security today, Bush said several times
that the economy was fine.
"Look around you," Bush implored
his audience. "You've all got jobs. I've got a job. Dick
Cheney has a job. I don't see what all the fuss is about."
"I may not be an economist, but anyone
can see that things look pretty good from here. Besides, we're
"EXPERTS" MAY BE DEMOCRATS
Despite a contrary position from every major global economist
and financial expert, Bush insisted that any problems concerning
the economy were being exaggerated and blown out of proportion
"I love this country," Bush said.
"I love it, love it, love it. And if there were problems
with the economy, I'd be on it. Don't you think I would? The
simple truth is that there are no problems. Not a one. Not an
iota of problem."
"And we're not going to be suckered
into a rope-a-dope with this whole recession game by the Democrats.
We've got a war to fight."
The crowd of predominantly rich white men
and their wives applauded throughout Bush's speech. Afterward,
Bush took several questions from reporters on the steps of the
Arthur Anderson Pavilion, where the banquet was held.
YOU MUST HAVE MISHEARD HIM
When asked about the sudden change in his administration's attitude
toward the economy, Bush insisted there was no change.
"When have you ever heard me say there
was a problem with the economy? When? Never. That's because there
has been no problem since this administration took office.
"Did I mention we're at war?"
Reporters also asked why unemployment rates
and growth figures pointed to the opposite conclusion, that a
serious problem exists with the U.S. economy and that the country
was on the verge of sliding back into recession.
Bush dismissed their questions as political
"Economies are about money,"
the President stated. "And I feel . . . I believe that money
. . . I like money. And I like this country. Money is good and
this country still has a lot of money."
UGLY DUDES CAN LIE, TOO
After Bush's statements, White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer
spent several hours addressing concerns with reporters.
"Obviously, the President has the
world's leading economists at his disposal," Fleischer insisted.
"If the President declares that there is nothing wrong with
the economy, then I'm sure there is nothing wrong with the economy.
"Focusing on such issues just distracts
from what this administration is really trying focus on: homeland
security, weapons of mass destruction and Saddam Hussein.
"Concerns about the economy are nothing
more than partisan politics," Fleischer announced. "To
turn our attention away at this time from the threat posed by
Iraq to focus on the U.S. economy would be un-American."
"Obviously, our Republican mandate
from the recent elections shows that the American people are
more concerned with Homeland Security than whether their 401(k)s
have gone down a few measly points. Get over it."
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