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CASPER SAYS:
"Here you go,
piggy pig!"



THAT BASTARD SEZ:
"Yeah, lesse you
give that top to
a brotha, Cracker."

 

 

 


MARK SAYS:
"I love you, Casper!"



THAT BASTARD SEZ:
"Only cuz Casper
justifies Whitey's evil existence!"

 

 

 

RICHIE RICH SAYS:
"Oh boy! Looks like
a good crop of cash
once again!"

THAT BASTARD SEZ:
"Yeah, leave it to
the White Devil to
actually get himdelf
some caish on his
money trees. My
money trees neva give
up the Dead Prezes.
Must be my black thumb."

 

 

MARK SAYS:
"I love you, Richie!"



THAT BASTARD SEZ:
"OH SHUT THE
FUCK UP, MARK!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MARK SAYS:
"Affirmative Action is
wrong! Racisms doesn't
exist! You're lying, nigger!"



THAT BASTARD SEZ:
"Oh yeah? Read THIS.
And I said ya best
shut the fuck up, Peachy."

Thursday, September 21, 2000

Casper the Friendly Ghost & the NBA Analogy: It Be a Sad Story, Yo

(Can't You Ghosties Come Up With a Betta Argument Against Affirmative Action?)

Whitey a racist.

That ain't news to my Brothas an' Sistas, yo. An' it ain't no kind of news to you neither, Cracka. But you never do actually accept it, do ya? Ya'll just shrug and say things like "It's a lot better for you African Americans nowadays than it was in the Sixties."

Or y'all pull out the "America freed the slaves!" line.

Or y'all shy away from the past, yeah, an' go on an' on about how "America is a classless society! Anyone can be anything he wants to be if only he gives it the good Red-Blooded, Pink-Skinned try!"

Or "Skin color doesn't mean anything. It's what you do, not what you are, that counts."

An' you know what, pinkbits? Them words, they's just fine until them words have to be realio. Y'all like Casper the Friendly Ghost, yo -- friendly enough on the outside, but cuz he a ghost, he ain't nothin' but evil.

A ghost ain't got no good qualities, an' that's a fact. But there be a couple reasons why them bitches at Harvey -- the very same fat lardy flabs who tried to make rich folk the "Good Guys" with Richie Rich -- drewed that cartoon:

1) to add yet another piece to the "Let's Muck Up Black Folks Head" Puzzle. Casper distracts us from the fact that Whitey is the Pale Plague.

2) to justify to young Whiteys 'bout the ways Whiteys act. It's like sayin' "Shit, you is evil, but if you act real nice about it, you'll fool 'em an' easy."

An' they almost done it! Whole generations have a growed up thinking that crackas can be "friendly." Cartoons are the White Devil's tool that way -- theys can make y'all think that ghosts can be good. They ain't. Just you ask my grandmama.

It's a simple formula, yo:

Cracka = Ghost = Evil

It don' take no Einstein to figger it out. An' it don't take no Noam Chomsky to unnerstand' the end result o' Casperification: The arisin' o' the belief that Brothas can only be successful in the NBA.

Y'all think I'm lyin', yo.

Casper was first spawned during the midst of a white man's bowel-dumping in 1945. A few years back, when y'all overthrew racial justice an' resumed yo blood-guilt by destroyin' Affirmative Action, a whole slew o' Crackas came out with commentaries an' books an' speeches tellin' us why Affirmative Action was wrong. Well, theys din't really tell us "why" -- most o' they's arguments come down to this :

WHITE DEVIL
Affirmative Action is wrong!

BROTHA
How's that, you who once held
my ancestors in bondage, capped
my Daddy and raped my Momma?

WHITE DEVIL
Well, because, uh... we
don't make you adjust
for Caucasians in the NBA!

BROTHA
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit....

In otha wordz, wigga -- y'all think me an' mine can't do nothin' but play us basketball, that we ain't gonna succeed 'less we have Affirmative Action doin' the job fo' us. An' all this is occuring just when the full impact o' watchin' too much "Casper the Friendly Ghost" over the course a three generations have caught up with America, yo.

You think I'm lyin'. But lyin' is the way of the Great White Father to the East. Take this joker, a professor by name of Louis P. Pojoman, as an example:


"Consider this analogy. Suppose that you were the owner of a National Basketball Association team. Suppose that I and other frustrated White basketball players bring a class-action suit against you and all the other owners, claiming that you have subtly and systematically discriminate[d] against White and Asian basketball players who make up less than 20% of the NBA players. When you respond to our charges that you and your owners are just responding to individual merit, we respond that the discrimination is a function of deep prejudice against White athletes, especially basketball players, who are discouraged in every way from competing on fair terms with Blacks who dominate the NBA. You would probably wish that the matter of unequal results was not brought up in the first place, but once it has been, would you not be in your rights to defend yourself by producing evidence, showing that average physiological differences exist between Blacks and Whites and Asians, so that we should not presume unjust discrimination?"

-- "The Case Against Affirmative Action"
Louis P. Pojoman,
Professor of Philosophy,
United States Military Academy

Y'all know what? At this point, I don' even care none for the argument. You take one side, I take another...

(Even though comparing basketball and the races that comprise the NBA to the socio-economic-political history of a nation which, in sum, has resulted in a preference for Caucasian males in the job market or in the classroom is just stoopid. But that's just me, yo -- me an' the facts.)

What's pissin' me off is Whitey's thinkin' that Blacks can only dominate in sports, namely basketball, specifically the National Basketball Association.

Don't matter if you's a stupid-ass professor like Louis P. Pojoman above, yo, or if you just some stupid-ass white kid strugglin' through English 101. Through all ages, through all ranks, through all levels o' 'telligence (or somethin' passin' for "intelligence"), any white mothafucka tryin' to argue that they -- bein' fair an' all -- would neva accept racial preferences an' illustratin' their point by using the Brotha's dominance o' the NBA is a racist. They might not knowed it but they is (most o' them know, though).

In they's minds, a Brotha can't do nothin' else but play sports anyway. In they's minds, a Brotha ain't smart enough to do anythin' else properly. In they's minds, a Brotha will never take their jobs away unless Affirmative Action does it for them.

Well, fuck you anyway. Affirmative Action was the closest Whitey ever came to 'fessin' up to they's centuries-old crimes 'gainst the minority man. Affirmative Action was a recognition that Whitey, because he himdelf have no color, already has advantages. Now that y'all take Affirmative Action away, y'all just actin' like you always did anyway: Take advantage o' yo owndelfs skins to get a leg up on a Brotha like me an' mine.

So, any o' you peaches who say Affirmative Action ain't fair eva come to Oaktown, you send me a message yo, an' I'll takes you onna tour o' my dark alley. Yeah.

Now, I knows y'all thinkin' "They's people who don't like affirmative action and yet don't use the NBA Analogy!" An' maybe there is -- but more than a small percentage of commentaries, speeches and books out there do use the analogy, and that's just bullshit. Don' believe me? FUCK YOU.

Me? I a thinkin' "Casper the Friendly Ghost" has a lot to do with the modern American Cracka's overt and subvert racism. That, and they's hundreds of years of oppressin' the African.

Peace to the oppressed,

-- That Cavortin' Bastard

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