November 5, 2000
America Owes Us.
(Why is askin' for
reparations for slavery wrong?)
Now, I coul' really fuckin'
not care whether or not reparations are ever paid to us African
Americans. It don't fuckin' matter. It's jus' a phrase you can use
if ya wanna get a whole buncha in da hood brothas all riled up about
gettin' free dough. What gets me, as usual, yo, are the fuckin' white
people who wanna attack the very idea. I mean, what's wrong wit' it? All
y'all whiteys beat down a whole buncha brothas and left them to mend on
the bottom end a' the economic food chain with all sorts of
discriminatin' laws that jus' fucked us up for a century. And when
things finally clear up enough where we's can actually have a voice to
ask for 'em, ya say it's been too long and nobody nowadays is affected
by slavery and who would pay and all this other back peddlin' bullshit.
But when else shoulda reparations been made? When we were shinin' shoes
and saying 'Yes sir' and 'No sir' and sittin' on the backs of fuckin'
buses that nobody wanted us on anyway? We woulda been lynched if we made
a fuss and no white man was gonna hand out the cash of his own goodwill.
So excuse our fuckin' poor as trash black skins for maybe even
considering that it might not be such a bad idea.
Reparations ain't gonna
solve nothin' on an economic scale. Even if the gover'ment handed every
single black person out there a big wad 'a Dead Prezes, all theys gonna
do is run out and buy a big screen TV or a sports car or some other
goddam' luxury they could never even consider affordin' before. And nex'
thing ya know, a crackhead has stole it. So the money ain't gonna matter
(e'cept it probly ain't gonna be enough wit' a whole buncha niggers).
But it's the doin' of the deed that will clear some 'a the air. At least
it'll shut up all this talk about America owing us. Course, then we gots
ta listen to whitey cryin' bout his taxes goin' to a bunch a blacks he
don't give a fuck about. So, here are a few of MY solutions to
First off, y'all figure
out who has someone in their family tree that was in America before the
Civil War. No problem. All y'all white people are obsessed wit' this
Sistas 'a the Revolution shit, so ya know y'all have been here for-fuckin'-ever.
So, ya do all this historical math mumbo jumbo. Your direct great
grandparents or some shit were here, you pay a certain amount to some
Government Reparation Fund. You got a wiseacre uncle on you grandpappy's
side who were here, you pay a lot less but ya still pay somethin. You
white and your whole family only been here since post civil war, you
don't do shit. Meanwhile, same thing with blacks. You got a last name
like Jones or Smith or Mypet or some such arrogant shit, you gettin'
money. If ya got a Jamaican or African or Haitian accent still, you
probably ain't gettin' any money so shut the hell up and get the fuck
2. Chain Letter
This way don't matter who
was here when. Every white person in America gets a letter in the mail
wit' the name 'a some sista or brotha and a certain denomination. That
whitey puts his money order in the return envelope (cause they ain't
puttin' in a check wit' their address, yo) and puts it in the mail. They
go through some gover'ment middleman afore passin' on to the recipient.
Since there is way more whites than blacks, some whiteys be payin' to
the same brotha or sista. This way, we jus' sit back and collect our
checks as dey come in. And anyone who refuses to pay, no big deal. The
gover'ment middle man jus' takes a tally of people refusin' to pay and
sends the names off to the Black Panthers and the NAACP (these
organizations will send the names on to the groups that really matter).
Now we get money AND a list of all the damn racists.
3. Jus' Don' Pay
This is probly da simples'
of 'em all. Just don't fuckin' pay it. Gover'ment gots ta come right out
'n say, "We don' give a goddamn shit 'bout what we did to your
fuckin' ancestors and the problems we created for their descendants. We don'
give a fuckin' care that we jus' freed yer relatives wit' barely shit to
live on and then made a whole buncha laws restrictin' how they can live
their lives and earn some fuckin' money for their future generations. We
ain't doin' shit about it now or ever so fuckin' shut up already."
Blacks already know this is the majority position but they might as well
make it an official statement and stop pussyfootin' around this shit.
Then when we scowl at whitey as he walks by, he'll know why 'cause the
gove'ment admitted to bein' as racist as he is.
4. Corporate Takeover
Why not make all dem
companies responsible? Theys probly the ones still makin' money offa
ownin' slaves way back when. Jus' figger out which multi-million dollar
companies owe their stash to usin' slaves. I don't know which. Tobacco
companies, maybe. Manufacturers of leg irons. Fruit of the Loom. I's
sure them lawyers suin' for reparations'll know just the companies to
sue. I bet that bastard comic company Harvey be one of 'em.
None 'a these'll ever
happen. But standard policy is gonna be an unspoken #3. So ya got whites
upset that it might happen an' theys taxes gonna be wasted on Negroes.
And ya got blacks runnin' around screamin', 'Show me the money!' (cause
they all obsessed by that stoopid ass movie). I really couldn't care one
way or da other e'cept for the fact whitey so smug in his belief that we
don't deserve nothin'.
But then, that's nothin'
That Cavortin' Bastard